Armond White, National Review's culture critic, doesn't like the movie version of Taylor Swift's Eras tour. In fact, he doesn't like Taylor Swift. That's fair enough. She's not everyone's cup of tea, especially if you aren't part of her young-white-women demographic—which White decidedly isn't.
But what on earth is this supposed to mean?
The Eras Tour is the most calamitous movie event since Barbie. It’s in the mode of post-Madonna, post-Obama mind control. The Taylor Swift industry would like us to believe that the world is not crumbling and that Swift’s prominence comes from her being a great artist. Yet girls who don’t know Jane Austen, Edna St. Vincent Millay, Emily Dickinson, Bessie Smith, Billie Holiday, Joni Mitchell, Kate Bush, or Lesley Gore’s “It’s My Party” fall for Swift’s narcissistic display. It prevents them from realizing their desperation — the loneliness at the scary heart of Kardashian peer pressure and FOMO.
"Since Barbie" means "since July," so one might wonder just how calamitous Eras really is. But at least that sentence is comprehensible. I genuinely have no idea what the other sentences mean.
The rest of the piece is largely the same. White's real gripe is a common one among professional conservatives: They just can't stand art that has progressive themes of any kind—in this case the fact that Swift supports the Equal Rights Amendment. White is also inexplicably furious that teenage girls don't generally have sophisticated taste in music. Go figure.
I myself don't much care for Taylor Swift's music, but I admire her work ethic. Every review I've read of her Eras show gushes about how fans get their money's worth: the show is long, the staging is extravagant, there are great guests, and lots of costume changes. Whatever else you can say about her, she seems to respect her audience.