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Let us ponder Gov. Doug Ducey’s jerry-built border wall

As you probably know, for the past few months Gov. Doug Ducey of Arizona has been building his own makeshift border wall out of shipping containers. Here's a picture:

This wall is illegal, ridiculous, expensive, and environmentally hazardous. But put all that aside. Isn't it also God's gift to coyotes and their customers?

Stop me if I'm wrong about anything here. Step 1 is to pick a likely looking spot and then cut a big hole into one of the containers. It doesn't need to be anything fancy since no one on the Mexico side of the border is going to care.

Step 2 is to cut a smallish hole on the other side of the container. But this time keep the metal, attach a couple of hinges, and create a makeshift hatch.

Step 3 is to outfit your new man cave any way you want. Maybe a battery-operated fridge! Some nice chairs. Blankets and pillows. Plenty of water.

Step 4 is to guide a group of aspiring immigrants to your container, where they can rest and hide out for a while. When night falls and the coast looks clear, open your little hatch on the American side and everyone crawls out. Then you're on your way, all rested and refreshed. And the whole operation is pretty safe because the container wall is opaque and the Border Patrol on the American side can't see anything that's happening on the Mexican side.

What am I missing here?

29 thoughts on “Let us ponder Gov. Doug Ducey’s jerry-built border wall

  1. ashladblog

    I’d add some solar panels, a few big-screen TVs, satellite dish, maybe even AC. Too bad the World Cup is almost over as it would have drawn crowds without even sneaking into the US. Goooooooooal!

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  2. jamesepowell

    Republcans - voters & electeds - are bigots. They have to constantly fan the flames of bigotry in order to stay in power. It's been working for them pretty well since it became the core of their party's appeal in 1980.

  3. Matt Ball

    Morons. And anyone who supports them is too dumb to live. I'm not joking. Could any D have come up with anything as absurd at these trading cards? What losers!

    1. shapeofsociety

      I saw someone suggest that the NFTs are actually a money laundering scheme, to conceal a transfer of funds to Trump from a highly questionable source.

  4. lawnorder

    Seriously, my main concern with border walls IS coyotes, and deer and rabbits, and pumas, and any other wild life that roam around the border and are going to be walled off from that chunk of their usual territory that's on the other side. Those walls are going to have a horrible effect on the wildlife.

    1. RadioTemotu

      From what I’ve read there’s a gap anyplace the ground is too uneven. Hopefully the wildlife can find its way through

  5. OwnedByTwoCats

    The border patrol didn’t build the wall, or approve its design or construction. Doug Ducey, outgoing governor or Arizona, spent taxpayer dollars building it, and it’s going to cost even more taxpayer dollars to remove it. And I’m pretty sure the border patrol will demand Arizona remove it, for the reasons Kevin mentions, plus the environmental impact.

    All in all, a lose-lose proposition. In other words, the kind of governing I’ve come to expect from Republicans.

  6. shapeofsociety

    Those containers won't only be used for people smuggling, but drug smuggling. They will be fentanyl depots before long. Just drop off the goods in one of them, then text your buddy on the other side, and he can wait the Border Patrol to go by and then pick up the hidden merch.

  7. RadioTemotu

    What you’re missing is that Ducey and his ilk DO NOT CARE about stopping immigration. If anything they need it to continue. If conservatives learned anything from 49 years of ranting about Roe it’s that the dog loses interest when he finally catches the car. Republican leaders don’t oppose immigration reform because they don’t want immigrants. They oppose it because they don’t want to lose the bigot vote

  8. pjcamp1905

    What you're missing is that your scheme is absurdly complicated. Containers are easy to climb and you can also reach the top of a stack of two using the cheapest extension ladder from Home Depot.

    If this is what Texans want to let their governor piss away money on instead of fixing their power grid, I'll suggest going to sleep in one of these containers the next time a cold breeze brings down all electricity in the state.

    Or, you know, stop voting Republican.

    1. Salamander

      True about the climbability. Also, I see gaps in the "container wall" photo. But isn't there supposed to be a lot of razor tape at the tops? I guess you can pick up a boltcutter or whatever at the Deposita de Casa, along with your ladder, though.

  9. ruralhobo

    Like the Berlin Wall except porous and soon with graffiti not on the side where people want to go, but the other one.

    Actually more like an Iron Curtain, literally, in the early days thereof when that too was easy to slip through.

  10. rick_jones

    What am I missing here?

    The temperature reached inside a metal box in the Arizona sunshine and just how much electricity it would take to cool it.

  11. steve22

    Yes, people will just climb it. Using it as a stopover resting place is amusing but since it will only take a minute or two to climbthats what people will do. You could stock it with water and other stuff but you risk getting caught doing that.

    Steve

  12. zoniedude

    What are you missing? D'oh, the whole thing is a grift. From Trump on, the whole point was to pump money to cronies using some cockamamie bogyman. Virtually everything the Republicans do is basic grift, follow the money.

  13. spatrick

    Or just use ladders and wire cutters. That would work too.

    All of this performance art hippie crap. It's a way of showing GOP primary voters "Yeah I'm doing something about the border because the Feds aren't." Anyone with a functioning brain knows this barrier will be breached in the same way all barriers are breached by human inginuety. So the only reason to do this is for the optics. But I have news for the would-be U.S. Senator. Because you certified the election, the batshit element which dominates the Arizona GOP will never forgive you and thus no matter how many containers you stack, you have political future unless you move someplace else.

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