Queen Elizabeth II has died, which means that Prince Charles finally becomes King Charles. But what number will he be?
We've already had King Charles I, who got into a fight with the Trumpists of his time and was eventually beheaded by their rump in 1649.
After a few years had gone by the Brits began to feel a little bad about what they'd done to Charles, so in 1660 they texted his son an invitation to come back if he'd promise to be nice. He did, and became King Charles II a few days later. Charles II presided over the founding of the Royal Society, the Great Plague of London, the Great Fire of London, the discovery of gravity, his wife's inability to produce an heir, his long affair with Nell Gwyn, and just generally a period of merriment and good times.
By the end of his reign, however, the British people were exhausted by kings named Charles, so they took a little break and then decided to have a run of Georges. This means Prince Charles is now King Charles III.
However, what's really important is how we can use the queen's death to stick yet another fork into Prince Harry. Here is the Daily Mail:
Flight data shows that Harry didn't make it to Balmoral in time to say goodbye! Take that, Harry!
In other news, the Mail tells us all about the code names that have now been activated:
Operation Unicorn will transport the queen's coffin back to London, with Operation Overstudy held in waiting in case the journey is made by air. This will be followed tomorrow by Operation Spring Tide, which spells out the details for Prince Charles' accession to the throne. These are all subsumed under the master plan named Operation London Bridge, details of which have been obtained EXCLUSIVELY BY POLITICO.
By the way, Prince William, now the heir to the throne, inherits his father's title of Duke of Cornwall, along with an income of about £20 million per year.
So there you have it. The queen is dead, long live the king. Plus we need to change the title of the national anthem.