Just by coincidence, Danish Defense Minister Troels Lund Poulsen today announced a big new defense package for Greenland:
Poulsen said the package would allow for the purchase of two new inspection ships, two new long-range drones and two extra dog sled teams.
Okey doke. That should put Donald Trump on notice.
Well, I hear he doesn't like dogs...
... So Biden ought to bring Commander to the swearing in / transfer of power ceremony*?
* Assuming it takes place. If the House hasn't yet figured out who to tar as Speaker, assuming Mikey goes down, then
(1) New members can't be sworn in
(2) the House can't transact business -- ANY business
(3) and this includes certifying the winner of the presidential election, which, to be honest, they already did in mid-December by officially tallying up the votes, but still...
Others have explored the Can-o-Worms this could open, the most desireable scenario being the sitting Vice President, one Kamala Harris, being sworn in as the new President.
Yeah, yeah. In my dreams.
"who to tar as Speaker"-- lol
Between the imminent and simultaneous invasions of Greenland, Panama, and Canada, the incoming Commander In Chief of all our brave service members in uniform (aka the "Suckers and Losers" ), may not be able get in a full 18 holes of golf.
Their sled dog technology is out of control!
We have to counter it with our robo-sled dogs! A million robo-sled dog army!
Xdogs! GigaSleds!
Bursting into flames all across the tundra.
Speaking of Greenland: https://news.ku.dk/all_news/2024/12/one-of-worlds-largest-glacier-floods-triggered-in-greenland/
Interesting
Fun to have fun with this, but it may actually be about all they can do, if what I've read is accurate-- that US military forces can go pretty much anywhere they want to, any time they want to, for any reason they can link to national security, without any need for clearance by the local government. Apparently this comes from Cold War agreements with the Danes and before that to our occupation of the island after the Nazis conquered Denmark.
Denmark is an EU and NATO country. Would Article V apply if trump tried to do what's surely the most tempting thing, given our military free rein there? Interesting question that I'd bet has had Putin prompting his lapdog to try to make more than academic.
Apparently, this whole idea sprung from the mighty brain of Ronald Lauder, heir to the Estee-Lauder cosmetics fortune. But there is no one to buy Greenland from. They govern themselves. Denmark handles their foreign and defense affairs, but since 2009, Greenland has had home rule over domestic affairs and is on a path toward independence.
If they don't want to become part of the US, what are we going to do? Invade? I wouldn't be surprised if that idea is spinning around in his tiny brain. But it would make us just like Putin, who he thinks is a genius.
Same with Panama. Sure, we built the canal. But we also stole the land on which to build it.
Our having helicopters notwithstanding I have to suspect there are places and conditions under which a dog sled would be superior mobility.
And much easier and cheaper upkeep.
The most modern piece of machinery isn't necessarily the best suited for a particular type of terrain for day to day operations.
Do we even have any dog sled teams? We’re so fucked
We've got teams, I mean we've been running the Idarod race in Alaska for decades. But nobody up there will want to take Greenland, they'd side with their fellow arctic cousins.
The population of Greenland is less than 60,000 people. Three times as many people live in Williamsburg Brooklyn than live in the entire country of Greenland.
Which makes this quite doable. If we offer each Greenlander $1MM Greenland might suddenly be up for sale and $60B would be a steal for Greenland.
"Which makes this quite doable"
Whether or not acquiring Greenland is "quite doable," (and it's not--even if we were to bribe all 60,000 Greenland inhabitants, Denmark and its 6 million inhabitants would still have to say ok), there's the other issue of why the fuck we would want to do it--what is the purpose of the federal government owning Greenland?*
______
*I mean, besides the dumbass president-elect getting to crow about some pointless deal he made. Which I guess is about the only thing motivating this idiocy.
The purpose of acquiring Greenland is to bump the US up from the world's fourth biggest country to the world's second biggest country. Trump has a childish obsession with size, so this would make sense to him.
1. I am not sure if Denmark has to agree. Greenland is getting more and more autonomy.
2. If you give every Dane 100K that is just 600B. Still affordable
3. I am not qualified to estimate Greenland's value, but some points:
a. Alaska and the Louisiana Purchase we both considered overpriced by many at the time (Seward's Folly anyone?) but delivered insane returns.
b. Strategic value is hard to put a monetary value on but it's significant. This is why China is trying to get involved there.
c. Mineral wealth is huge. Any deal to buy Greenland should include agreement to greatly expand mineral exploitation and a royalty program for locals like Alaska's Permanent Fund.
". . . just 600B. Still affordable."
Um, ok. That's over half of all discretionary non-military federal spending. And it matters nothing, since we already went through this whole stupid charade last time 'round, where Denmark politely guffawed and said, no, not for sale. But even if they were interested, technically, yes, the US could afford $600 billion (we could raise taxes--I'm sure the Republicans will be all over that), but that doesn't answer the question of why do something this stupid. Which gets us to your (3):
This isn't the 19th (or 18th) century anymore. The "huge" mineral wealth (beneath an ice cap) of Greenland is no less available to us just because Greenland is Greenland and not like America Part 51--the private companies that would do the mining and whatnot can just as easily contract with the Danes and Greenlanders as they can the US government. And whatever metals and whatnot that result would go onto the global market, where they would put downward pressure on all prices, regardless of whether or not we buy the stuff. Owning the territory is not really important.
Thinking like that it is is akin to Trump's idiotic assertions that we should just "take" the oilfields in Iraq or wherever, as if it were somehow cheaper to take over an entire country and operate its oil industry rather than just buy the oil.
As for "[s]trategic value [being] hard to put a monetary value on," yeah, sure. But we already have military access to Greenland. And we could, for far less than $60 billion (let alone $600 billion) negotiate leases for additional arctic bases or whatever if we really wanted to (which, to your point, is probably why "China is trying to get involved there" rather than trying to buy the entirety of Greenland, because the Chinese are not nearly as stupid as Trump).
Buying Greenland does zip to actually create wealth; it just rearranges--at enormous expense--the colors on the map. So, again, what benefit is there in the Federal Government owning Greenland?
You may laugh, but dog patrols are actually how sovereignty is maintained in Northeast Greenland: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sirius_Dog_Sled_Patrol
I still don't know why this incident happened, even given Trump's impulsive stupidity. I imagine a questioner asking what action he will take on greenhouse gases and a thoroughly ignorant reply, not knowing what those are. Greenland? We'll buy them out! No one is richer and stronger than I am.
Undoubtedly, Trump doesn't even remember where this all came from. He's a moron. Morons do and say stupid things. That's about all there is to this.